


Clay Spenser Hurt Collection

by DianneRose2016



Series: The Clay Spenser Collection [1]
Category: SEAL Team (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bad Parenting, Brian's death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Clay, Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of Injuries, Mentions of Violence, Mentions of past child abuse, Papa Jason, Protective Bravo, mentions of torture in a medical sense, no actual torture scene, sere
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:41:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28131096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DianneRose2016/pseuds/DianneRose2016
Summary: This will be a collection of connecting oneshots that will feature Clay whump and the team showing him that he can trust them and they are not going to abandon him. Follow Clay as he starts to discover he has a family and just what exactly that means. Summary for each story is in the chapter notes!
Series: The Clay Spenser Collection [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2060853
Comments: 29
Kudos: 147





	1. The Secrets of A Strap

**Author's Note:**

> Alright so this is going to be set in Season 1 episode 1 and I will travel along through the show. They are oneshots, but I would recommend reading them in order as they will be connected.
> 
> Summary: Clay’s first op with Bravo as a Strap did not go well. It is made worse when he discovers that he has been stabbed. Clay is confident that this operation will go down as the worst operation of his life.

Clay couldn’t believe this. He thought this was going to be his golden ticket to show everyone that he belonged in DEVGRU, that he had the skills and wasn’t just some show pony for the Upper Brass. It was endless for Clay with all of the bullshit and snide comments. Everyone was under the belief he had allowed someone in the Upper Brass to fuck him to grant him his Green Team application. Of course it couldn’t be because he was talented and had worked his ass off to even qualify for Green Team. At twenty-four it was unheard of for someone to even be allowed an application to Green Team. Clay had not only been granted, but he had been accepted. He was also top of his class in Green Team. At least he will be until word got back about this mission. Clay knew Jason didn’t like him because of Ash, that was made very clear the second he walked onto the plane. Still, he thought he could win him over. He knew that people didn’t like him, but he also knew if he was useful team leaders tolerated him. Clay figured if he did what he was told and was useful, maybe Jason wouldn’t find a reason to hate him more. 

Clay thought it was going well. He did what Jason said, he was able to pick up on the exchange not being about drugs. He translated and got the kid to give up his gun, he was even taken to help find their target. Things were going so well, until that tango appeared and Clay fought with him. He figured there could have been more so he moved in and ended up killing their target they were supposed to be bringing in alive. Clay really thought Jason and Ray hadn’t shot him because they didn’t have a clear shot. Now there was a good chance he would never get picked by a team. It was just one more thing he was going to have to hear shit about. Clay figured he probably should have just listened to Jason and stayed at the opening, but that didn’t feel right either. If there was one tango there could have been more and he didn’t want them getting surprised and potentially hurt or killed. Now technically it was a mission failure and it was all his fault. 

Clay placed his gear down on the bed in the hangar. He was really not looking forward to this flight home. He was sure he would keep hearing about this from Jason and the guys. Especially once Jason labels it as a bad shoot in the AAR. Clay was all too aware of how this could be the operation that ends his career in the field. Ray made his way over to Clay, he could tell Clay was upset by what had just happened and Ray couldn’t blame him. Jason had no right to yell at Clay like that and he certainly had no right to put his hands on him. That was something that was completely unacceptable to Ray and he knew Jason normally didn’t act that way. He would have gone off on someone if they grabbed one of his guys like that. It wasn’t something that any of them would tolerate and he was going to be making sure Jason apologised for it once he calmed down. 

Ray knew Jason didn’t like not getting their guy, but Ray also knew where Clay was coming from. He had no idea either of them could have had a shot, he was taking the situation in and from his perspective it looked like a suicide bomber was about to kill the two of them. Of course Clay took the shot, that’s what they are trained to do, especially a sniper. Clay isn’t trained to look at the guys hands, hell Ray didn’t even look at them and he had ten years over Clay. He wasn’t going to let Clay blame himself or carry this. If Jason wanted to say it was a bad shot, Ray was going to be fighting him on it, because it wasn’t a bad shot and Clay was not going to be having the stink of this on him. Ray wasn’t going to allow it. 

“Hey brother, you alright?” Ray said, as he went over to Clay.

“I’m fine Sir.” Clay said, in a voice dead of any emotions. 

“It’s Ray and it’s ok to be upset by what happened. Jason had no right to talk to you like that and he sure as hell didn’t have any right to put his hands on you.” Ray said with a strength to his voice.

“It’s fine, it’s not the first time a superior has put their hands on me.”

“What do you mean it’s not the first time?” Ray said with a slight edge to his voice.

“It’s nothing. Master Chief Hayes is right, I should have looked at his hands. I was ordered to stay at the opening of the tunnel and I disobeyed his order.” Clay knew what could happen if he disobeyed an order. There had been plenty of times he had done so because it was the right thing to do and had saved the lives of his teammates. He always took the punishment like a man and dealt with it. 

“If you had waited we could be dead. As for the hands thing, I didn’t look either. I don’t look at someone’s hands when they are wearing a suicide vest. We’re not trained that way. Jason had no right to reprimand you for something that only him and a few others would know. He shouldn’t have talked to you that way and he should have explained what you could have done differently next time. That is what a team leader is supposed to do.”

“I wouldn't know about that. It’s fine, really. I should have known better. I should have passed on the opportunity to come on this op. I just figured this would be my only chance to get to work with Bravo, with Jason Hayes. I knew he didn’t like me, but I figured I would be useful and not give him a reason to hate me more than he already does. Now I’m going to have a bad shoot on my record, just one more thing to hear shit over. Never meet your heroes right?” Clay said with a small smile.

“Clay.” Ray started, but Clay cut him off.

“It’s fine, really. I enjoyed working with you. It’s been a very long time since someone has been nice to me. I appreciate it. I’m gonna go grab some water.” Clay said with a small sad smile before he headed off.

Ray looked after Clay as he headed off to grab some water in the small break room within the hangar. He looked around at the others and he could tell they had been eavesdropping, but hadn’t made a comment. Ray was not happy about this, not one bit. He didn’t like that Clay had been harmed by a superior before. He didn’t like that other people seem to be giving Clay shit for having Ash as a father. He didn’t like that Clay seemed to just accept that he was never going to belong anywhere. That he was always going to be treated like shit. This wasn’t what DEVGRU, what the brotherhood, was supposed to be. Jason walked in and Ray was instantly going over to him. 

“You need to talk to the kid.” Ray said and Jason raised an eyebrow at the harsh tone to Ray’s voice.

“I don’t have to do anything Ray. And kid is accurate. He’s not even old enough to be in Green Team. Obviously he used one of daddy’s connections to get him in.” 

“Right, because it couldn’t possibly be that he’s skilled and has natural talent. He must have used Ash Spenser’s name to get ahead, because being connected to Ash Spenser is really the best way to get ahead in the Navy. The son of a PNG really makes the Upper Brass tingle.” Ray said, sarcastically.

“He’s not old enough to be good.” Jason countered.

“Says who? You? He’s old enough to have beaten three of your records in Green Team, or are you going to tell me the instructors are padding his results? Not to mention the kid was Chalk Alpha Two in Team Three, youngest Seal in history at nineteen and youngest 2IC. At what point do you accept that you just don’t like him because of his old man?” Ray challenged.

“It’s got nothing to do with him.”

“It’s got everything to do with him and with you not wanting to replace Nate. You’re holding your own problems against him and that’s not fair to him. He’s a good kid with an immense talent. For fuck’s sake Jace, he’s within the top five snipers in the Navy at twenty-four. If you would take your blinders off for one goddamn second you would see he is nothing like Ash. You would see what I see, a damaged kid trying to survive in the world.”

“What is with you and this kid? Why are you pushing so hard for him to be on this team?” That was what Jason couldn’t figure out. To him, Clay wasn’t worth all of this effort that Ray was putting in.

“Because he’s the right fit. He’s got language skills that none of us could ever comprehend. He’s a better shot than me and he’s got enough potential to fill this hangar. You want to focus on the future of Bravo, that kid is the future. He’s the future Bravo One. Outside of that, he’s a good kid with a good heart and an incredible mind. I just talked to him to try and help him understand that what happened on this mission wasn’t his fault. That you were in the wrong and had no business putting your hands on him. And you know what he said?”

“That he was going to report me and that I was overreacting.” Jason assumed.

“Said it was fine. That you weren’t the first superior to put your hands on him. That he was in the wrong for not looking at the guy’s hands. Said he should have passed on the operation, but he thought it would be a good opportunity to get to work with you. Said, he knew you hated him, but he was hoping by the end of it if he was useful and didn’t cause problems you would see he had a value to offer. That now he’s just given you one more reason to hate him. He actually thanked me for being nice to him, said it had been a long time since someone had. He actually thanked me for not treating him like shit. Right after he told me you should never meet your heroes. You have no idea Jase the effect you have on people, especially the younger guys. How many of them look up to you and for someone like Clay, who has all of these skills and huge potential, you’re his hero man. You is who he wants to be one day. A strong, good man who is fiercely loyal to his team and a highly respected operator. You’re his hero, not his old man. And all you have done is treated him like an annoyance and put your hands on him and made him feel like he wasn’t good enough. When it’s the exact opposite of the truth. He doesn’t deserve it.” Ray said with a strength to his voice.

Jason was quiet for a moment. He wasn’t sure what to say or to think right now. He knew he was being hard on Clay. He knew if Ray or any of his guys had taken the shot he would have just accepted it. Advised them next time to look at the guy’s hands before they pulled the trigger. He wouldn’t have put his hands on them, he would never do that. He should never have done it with Clay. Clay was still learning, mistakes were expected and guaranteed, it wasn’t something he could hold over Clay’s head. When it came down to it, it was his old man that was keeping him from liking or even tolerating Clay. But it was also more than that, it was seeing some traits of Nate within him. Of seeing traits of his own personality in Clay. He was also very young, six years minimum then the other guys in Green Team. There was a reason people couldn’t apply until they were at least thirty, it wasn’t just experience, but also so you wouldn’t destroy a young mind. The things Clay would see in this life were ten times worse than anything he would have seen in Team Three. The father in him was screaming hell no. He knew Clay had skills, he had watched him from time to time. He could outshoot everyone, including the instructors. He was great with hand to hand, and Adam wouldn’t shut up about his intelligence. Said Clay could see the matrix, that he had never had a cadet like him before or had even worked with someone that could see through this world like Clay. It was a huge level of praise, and yet all Jason saw was Ash Spenser. He was having a very hard time getting past it, but that was on him and he didn’t have the right to hold it against Clay. 

Before anymore could be said, Clay walked back into the room with a water bottle. He looked over and saw Jason, but he immediately redirected his eyes down as he made his way towards his gear. Clay placed the water down on the bed before he went and started to remove his vest, before he even placed it down Trent was speaking.

“Clay, you’re bleeding.” 

Everyone turned to give Clay their full attention. Clay looked down and saw his right side was covered in blood and it was soaking into his pants.

“Holy shit kid, what the hell did you do?” Sonny asked, as they all moved closer to Clay.

Clay moved his shirt up as he spoke. “Tango in the tunnel had a knife, he must have got me.”

“And you haven’t noticed that you’ve been bleeding this whole time?” Sonny said, skeptical.

Clay pulled his shirt off as he spoke. “I don’t really notice knife wounds anymore.”

All of the guys noticed two things, the first the knife wound, was actually a stab wound between his hip and his ribs. The second, he had scars all over his torso, including some that looked like lashes on his back. Most of the scars were old, very old, something that would have had to have happened in his childhood. 

“What the hell happened?” Jason asked, with an edge to his voice.

“Tango appeared behind me from the tunnel. We engaged in hand to hand combat and I eliminated the tango. He must have clipped me with his knife before I took him down Sir.” Clay said in a completely professional tone that lacked all emotions.

Clay grabbed his medical kit, as Trent moved over with his own to jump in. 

“I’m not talking about that. What son of a bitch did that to your back?” Jason said, as he moved closer.

Clay pressed some gauze to his wound as he grabbed the items to start cleaning the wound. “Some people shouldn’t be parents.” Clay said with a shrug.

“Your old man did that to you?” Sonny asked, softly.

Clay just gave a shrug and it was clear to the guys that he was not interested in getting into it. It did make them all have more questions about just what exactly Ash Spenser was capable of. If he could whip his own child to the point of leaving scars, what the hell else had he done to Clay? Clay had finished cleaning out the wound and grabbed his suture kit. Trent had put his own gloves on and spoke.

“Let me see it Spense.”

“Why?” Clay asked, confused.

“I’m the team medic. It looks like it needs stitches.” Trent explained.

“I know, that’s why I’m getting ready to stitch it.” 

The only reason Trent nor Jason didn't make a snide comment about Trent doing it was because of the tone in Clay’s voice. He didn’t mean it as a knock towards Trent, it was a simple fact that he just figured he would do the stitching, even though a trained medic was right there ready to jump in. 

“I can stitch it for you. That’s part of my job kid.” Trent said, with a warm smile.

“For Bravo, you have no obligation to an outsider.” Clay simply said.

“Seriously?” Sonny asked, shocked that Clay would actually think Trent, a trained medic, would just look the other way at a fellow frogman bleeding.

“It’s not a big deal, I’ve been giving myself stitches since I was six.” Clay said with a shrug, as he leaned his back against the wall so he would have a better angle.

Ray looked over at Jason and both of them could easily read the other’s thoughts. There was a very dark childhood living in Clay’s head. To be six and have stitched yourself, to even understand the concept of giving stitches at six was wrong, but to actually do it on yourself. There was a deep rooted damage within Clay and his bravo around others was seriously starting to make a lot of sense. It was his armour, his way of surviving life.

“Ok, but in Team Three you had a medic and he would have done your stitches when you needed it.” Trent said, trying to get Clay to let him help.

“He only treated my injuries if they were dire, otherwise I was on my own.” Clay simply said, as he went and pushed the needle into his skin.

“Whoa!” Sonny instantly yelled.

Everyone cringed and moved to get closer to Clay as Trent spoke.

“You need to use lidocaine to numb yourself.”

Clay didn’t stop as he spoke. “I’m allergic to it.”

“There’s numbing cream.” Trent said.

“Allergic, makes me itch and get a rash.” Clay answered as he continued. 

“Oh god I can’t watch him keep doing this, but I can’t look away.” Sonny said, grossed out by the fact that Clay is just shoving the needle into his skin like it’s nothing. 

“Ok, but there are alternatives to lidocaine that you can use. The medic on Team Three would have been able to get you some.” Trent said, not happy about this at all right now.

“He had to fill out a form and my team leader would have to sign off on it. Both refused, said it would be special treatment. That if I couldn’t use the regulation materials that I could either go without or quit.” Clay said with another shrug.

The fact that he could talk about it like it was the weather bothered the guys more than the words he was saying. It was the fact that Clay had just accepted that he was never going to have what he needed in the field. What he had every right in having as a human being. 

“Ok stop, please stop.” Trent said, and the guys could hear the slight anxiety in his tone.

Trent was a great medic, but he did not like it when someone else tended to his guys. Clay wasn’t officially Bravo, but he was their responsibility on this operation. He was Trent’s responsibility. Clay stopped and looked at Trent and Clay could see the tightness in his body.

“I know you have done this for a long time, but watching you do this is making me anxious. Please for me, let me do it.” Trent said, hoping if he asked for himself and not for Clay’s own good, then Clay would agree to it.

“Seriously kid, Trent really doesn’t like it when other people patch themselves up.” Ray added, hoping to get Clay to give in and let Trent do it.

Clay let out a soft sigh before he gave a nod. 

“Thank-you.” Trent said, relieved to finally be getting to help Clay with this. “Is it better for you to be standing or laying down? Which way hurts less?”

“Never done it laying down, kinda hard to stitch what you can’t see. This is fine.”

“I know you are allergic to lidocaine, but I got morphine. I can give you some to help with the pain.” Trent offered.

“Allergic.” Clay simply said.

“How many things are you allergic to?” Jason asked, because it seemed like a lot.

“Um anything with phosphate and sulfur in it, including vitamins and normal toothpaste, plus certain foods with a high amount of natural phosphate in them, sushi for example. I’m also allergic to penicillin and gravol, that one makes me throw up, ironic really.” Clay answered as Trent began to stitch him, doing his best to make it as quick and as painless as possible.

“So everything then, you’re allergic to everything.” Sonny commented.

“Not everything, but most medications and pills he would be. You would have to be on liquid gels when you can and liquid medication when there are no gel caps. Makes it harder in the field to treat you, but it’s not impossible. I’m guessing you haven’t had much luck with medics in the teams you’ve been in.” Trent said, as Clay seemed really confused why he would want to help.

“I’ve only had the one medic in Team Three. I went straight from boot camp into Buds. Team Three is the only one I’ve been on since I was eighteen. He didn’t appreciate the annoyance of my medical background. Felt I should be working a desk and not inconveniencing him.” Clay said with a shrug once again, as if it was perfectly normal behavior for a medic.

“Allergies aren’t an inconvenience, it’s part of our jobs. There’s lots of operators that can’t have certain things that are regulated, it’s why we fill out the forms and get them what they need before they get spun up. Is it just the allergies?” Trent asked.

“I have a mild case of asthma that requires an inhaler. There’s also the protein deficiency, my body doesn’t absorb it so it makes it harder for me to gain weight and for injuries to heal. I also have hypoglycemia, but I just need to eat properly to keep it under control.”

That surprised the guys. There were rules, regulations that everyone had to follow for what qualified you to be in the military, asthma was a direct to a desk medical condition. Clay shouldn’t have been allowed to be active with it. Not to mention the protein deficiency was an issue as well.

“Was there an underlying cause for the deficiency?” Trent asked.

“Being born addicted to meth and left in a dumpster.” 

Trent’s head snapped up and everyone didn’t even breathe. It would seem like Clay’s life was one horror show after the next and it started before he was even born. 

“What?” Ray asked, on their behalf.

“My mother was addicted to meth, Ash likes an easy lay. She gave birth and apparently left me in a dumpster where a good samaritan found me and took me to the hospital. They ran DNA and matched mine with Ash’s. I was raised by Ash for three years then he shipped me off to live out here for the next fifteen years.” Clay gave a brief, very brief, description of his life to hopefully stop any further questions about his health. 

He didn’t want them telling the other teams and then no one picking him. He hadn’t put in all of this work for it all to be nothing. 

“You grew up here?” Brock asked, sadly.

“Ya, not too far from here. Look, my medical history isn’t something I share freely with people. I would appreciate it if no one told anyone. I have a handle on it and I don’t need anymore judgements against me, please.”

“We’re not ones to gossip.” Jason simply said. He could understand why Clay didn’t want the others to know. They wouldn’t pick him. Clay had skills that every team would want and need, but Jason also knew most teams wouldn’t touch Clay if they knew what his medical complications were. The allergies alone would be enough to drive any medic away, and if you had a medic that wasn’t willing to work with someone, the team didn’t even look your way. 

“Wait, you said eighteen you were in Team Three? You mean nineteen right? Buds always starts in the middle of boot camp, you would have had to wait the six months for them to finish. Did you stay on base and help with boot camp?” Ray said, as his mind kicked in to what Clay had said.

“No, I was three weeks into boot camp when I was pulled out and placed within Buds. The Upper Brass said I was too qualified for boot camp and the Seals needed my shooting and language skills. Honestly, I think they just got all excited when my IQ test came back. Figured I was being used for some political gain, but I joined to help people and if that was being fast tracked into Buds, I figured that’s what I needed to do. Same as Green Team.”

“What do you mean?” Jason asked.

“I wasn’t going to apply. I knew I had to be at least thirty, so it wasn’t even on my radar. I was Chalk Alpha Two and getting ready to take over within the next year as Degger wanted to retire to command. Then one day an Admiral was showing up and telling me I was going to Green Team. Three weeks later I was on a plane to Virginia Beach.”

“So you only got in because someone is using you as a step on their ladder.” Sonny commented.

“That’s how I got here, but it’s not why I’m still here. I’m the top in of my class because I do have the skills to be here. Just because I don’t have the years on the job, doesn’t change that I am skilled enough to be here. How I got here shouldn’t outweigh my capabilities.” Clay said with a slight edge to his voice and they all could tell this was a sore topic for him. The guys figured Clay had heard shit about it more than once since being in Green Team about not belonging. 

“We never said you didn’t belong there. But it has to suck for you, because people will just assume you are only there for a political gain.” Ray said, looking to calm things down.

“Bet you shut them up when they saw you shoot. How the hell did you get so good anyways?” Sonny asked, because Ray was the best shot he had ever seen, but then he saw Clay on the range and he was impressed.

“I’ve been doing it since I was eight. I was in the hunting group for the orphanage. You miss your shot, you don’t eat. You get pretty good at it. Besides, it’s all math anyways and I like math.” Clay said with an easy shrug.

The guys all wanted to question Clay more on that, but Blackburn walked in and killed the conversation flow.

“You alright Spenser?” Blackburn asked, as he took in Clay's injury.

“I’m good Sir.” Clay answered.

“Trent?” Blackburn asked looking for more information.

“He’s got a shallow stab wound, roughly three inches. Nothing was hit, it’s superficial. I’m almost done.” 

“Is there anything I need to know about the AAR? Everything clean or any questionable?” Blackburn asked Jason.

Clay kept his eyes locked on Trent’s hands. He was waiting for this. This was the moment that Clay was waiting for, the moment he was dreading. This was going to be the end of his career and he would have to get kicked back down to a Seal level. 

“Naw, they were all clean shots.” Jason answered.

Now that he had some time to calm down and actually take a real look at Clay, he could see that Ray was right. He was holding Ash’s actions against Clay and that wasn’t fair to him. He didn’t deserve it. That didn’t mean he was going to place him on the team, but it did mean he could be civil. If he was honest with himself, he was curious about Clay. There was a lot more going on with him then he had expected. 

Hearing Jason say that all of the shots were good, caused Clay to snap his head up. He wasn’t expecting that. He thought he was going to be thrown under the bus. Clay didn’t understand why Jason didn’t. This was his chance to get rid of him for good, so why didn’t he take it? 

“Perfect. We’re wheels up in ten if you will be ready Trent.” Blackburn said.

“We’ll be good. I’m just finishing up.” Trent said, as he cut the extra thread.

“Alright, pack up.” Jason said to the others.

Trent got the gauze on Clay’s wound as he spoke. “I’m guessing I don’t need to tell you how to care for it.”

“Naw I’m good. Thanks for your help.”

“Anytime, it’s what I do. Do you have pain meds with you?” Trent asked, as he stood up from the bed.

“Ya I got a couple of over the counter liquid advils.”

“You should take a couple, it will help with the pain. You’ll start to feel it more once we are on a plane for a good twenty hours.”

“I will.”

Clay knew he would be feeling it a lot more soon. It was already sore and tender from the stitches, so he knew it would only get worse with sitting on the plane. It wasn’t like he could lay down in a hammock, he wasn’t allowed. Trent headed off to grab his gear and Clay got his shirt on and worked on getting his gear back together in his bags. Once he was all set he went to grab his bag and gun, but before he could grab his vest, the heaviest thing he had, it was already being picked up by Jason. 

“Watch your side, you don’t want to pop a stitch.” Jason said, with a friendly tone and they both headed off for the plane.

“Why didn’t you tell Commander Blackburn it was my fault for the mission failure?” Clay asked instead. He wasn’t looking to play nice right now. He needed answers, because it made no sense to him.

“Because it wasn’t your fault.” 

“I didn’t follow your orders and I took a shot that I wasn’t supposed to take. How is that not my fault?” Clay asked, confused.

Jason let out a sigh. He would really need to be careful in the future if he worked with Clay on another operation of what he said to him if shit went south. Apparently, Clay took everything that is said to him personally and he seemed to be able to carry the guit with him, whether it is warranted or not. 

“First, yes you didn’t follow my order about staying at the tunnel entrance. However, I did tell you to watch our backs and when you were attacked by that tango, you did what anyone else would, you searched to make sure we didn’t get the jump on us. I would expect nothing less from anyone else on my team. And second, you did what you are trained to do. You assessed a situation and acted accordingly. Ray didn’t have a shot and as far as you knew, I didn’t either. Any one of my guys would have done the same thing. You aren’t trained to look at someone’s hands, that is something that only a few people would do. Ray doesn’t either. It’s something that I was taught by an old Master Chief that I worked with. It stuck with me and I should have passed that knowledge on. You did what any one of my guys would do, what I would expect them to do. I had no right talking that way to you and I had absolutely no right putting my hands on you. That is not the type of leader that I am nor is it the type of man. I let my emotions and opinions about Ash cloud my judgment and that is not acceptable nor fair to you. You deserve to have a fair shake down and for me to treat you how I would any other rookie in Green Team.”

“It’s fine, really, no need to apologise.” 

“It’s not fine and you shouldn’t be accepting it as fine. You don’t deserve it and should be demanding better from people.”

That was something Clay wasn’t used to. He was used to being hated or looked down upon. He grew up in an orphanage for the majority of his life, he was used to having to try and be hidden and quiet. You didn’t cause any problems, you didn’t argue, you just accepted what was going on, whether you liked it or not. Clay had gotten very used to just accepting people were going to treat him like shit and he would just have to push through it all. He wasn’t about to tell Jason that though. That was a personal conversation and not one he was going to have with Jason, so Clay switched it to something he was more comfortable with.

“You know, I’m way above a rookie.” Clay said with a confident smirk.

Jason gave a small groan to that. “You have skills and a lot of potential kid I’ll give you that. But in this world of DEVGRU, you are a rookie and you still have a lot to learn.” Jason was confident though with the right team, Clay would skyrocket into being one hell of an operator. 

“I love to learn, so that works out perfectly for me.” Clay said, with a warm smile.

Jason gave him a small warm smile in return as they walked onto the plane. Lisa came over and grabbed some of their gear for them. Clay started to head off to the benches, but stopped when Jason spoke.

“Lisa, grab Clay a hammock, he’s earned one.” 

Lisa looked from Jason to the shocked face of Clay. She gave them a warm smile as she spoke. “Sure thing.”

“You got pain meds?” Jason asked Clay.

“Um, ya, ya I’m gonna take a couple.” Clay said, trying to get over the shock of being allowed a hammock. It was the fact that Jason said he had earned it. He hated that it brought a slight warmth to his chest. 

“Good. Take some and then crash. Let me or Trent know if your side gets worse or if you start feeling sick. You’ll have to get it looked at on base too before going home. Adam will want the all clear from the doc before you continue in Green Team.”

“I’ll get it sorted.” Clay agreed, already knowing that the instructors would need it cleared before he did any of the work.

Jason moved on to get sorted and Clay took the offered hammock from Lisa and gave her a smile of thanks before he went and got it sorted. He then popped a couple of pills and once they were in the air he got into his hammock and let out a sigh as he was finally able to lay down and rest. His side was sore and he knew it would be for a couple of days. Stitches sucked without being able to have any numbing agent, but he was used to the burn and pain long by now. It was not any fun and Clay knew sleeping was going to be a task in a half, but it wasn’t his first injury and Clay knew it wouldn’t be the last. 

Jason laid down in his hammock and looked over at Clay. He could see him sleeping, but he also could see the faint lines of pain on Clay’s face. Jason knew stitches could hurt, they hurt him after the numbness wears off and he had never gotten them when he couldn’t be numb. Jason knew it would have been painful and yet Clay didn’t make a sound. The only indication he had of being in pain was a slight flinch of his jaw as it was clenched. Jason couldn’t help but think it was ingrained into Clay to not make a sound when he was in pain. Ingrained that if he did, more pain would come his way. There was more to Clay than Jason had ever expected. Hearing just the small bits and pieces of his childhood was already pulling on his fatherly heartstrings. Jason didn’t want to like Clay, but there was a small piece of him that was already coming to like him. He would be keeping an eye on Clay and see how the rest of Green Team goes for him. Maybe, just maybe, he was already looking at their new Bravo Six and for the first time since Nate’s death, it didn’t hurt so bad. 

The End

  
  


  
  
  
  



	2. A Crippling Loss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian’s death devastates Clay and he struggles with the loss of his only friend. Jason tries to help Clay through the hardest part of being an operator.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a Seal Team bomb going off over here! I've got five stories that I am uploading for everyone to enjoy during this holiday season. Thank-you to all of the frontline workers and I wish you all the best!

The whole base was talking about it. Everywhere you went you heard about how Brian had died in a parachute training accident. It was rare when there was a training accident, even more rare when a sailor dies in it. This accident had torn through the base within minutes after Brian’s death. Bravo was sitting in the cafeteria two days later eating lunch and they all saw Clay sitting alone, staring off into space. 

“Maybe we should say something to him.” Trent offered up.

“If he can’t handle this, then he shouldn’t be in DEVGRU.” Jason said, without much care in his voice.

“Come on Jase, that’s cold, even for you. I thought we got past you hating the kid.” Ray said, not impressed at all by Jason’s cold tone.

“It’s not about being cold or warm Ray. It’s about him not being mentally strong enough to handle the teams. He can’t break down at the loss of a friend in the field. What happened to Brian is unfortunate, but he can’t let it destroy him and if it does, then he shouldn’t be in DEVGRU.” Jason simply explained.

“Come on Ray, how many times have we all lost someone right in front of us in the thick of things? We all pushed through, and the kid seems to be taking this pretty damn hard. He has to bounce back or he shouldn’t be in the field.” Sonny said.

“I just think we should be cutting the kid some slack. Maybe go and talk to him and check in, let him know he’s not alone.” Ray offered.

“He’s got his friends for that. Plus whatever family he might have.” Jason said.

“Family? What the hell family would he have? Ash has physically marked his body and he ended up in Africa somehow, so I doubt his mother is around to care. As for friends, from what we know so far, he doesn’t seem to have many.” Ray argued.

“He’s got a point boss. I’ve heard whispers too about how people think he sabotaged the chute to get rid of the competition.” Trent said.

“People are actually saying that?” Brock asked, surprised.

Trent gave a nod. 

“That’s bullshit. The kid doesn’t need to sabotage anything. He’s already at the top of his class. This is what I’m saying, he’s got no one to turn to. There’s no one on his side. His friend is dead and he doesn’t seem to have anyone to turn to.” Ray said.

“That doesn’t mean he can just fall apart. How the hell is that any good in the field.” Sonny argued.

“In the field is different. Bullets are flying, you are in danger and having to act. If you see your friend going down, it’s heat of the moment. He had to stand there on the ground and watch as his friend free fell to the ground. It was a training exercise back home, he should have been safe. It’s not the same as being on an op, and we all know that. Look Jase, I’m just saying maybe give him some slack and don’t hold this against him. None of us know what it’s like to watch a friend fall to their death.” Ray said, trying to get Jason to see that it’s different what happened to Clay.

“I’ll let him mourn and do whatever he wants. It’s no difference to me. He’s still got SERE to get through and everything else.” Jason said with a shrug.

He was still on the fence with Clay. he had no idea what he was going to do. He didn’t like that Clay had clearly been abused growing up. He didn’t like that the abuse seemed to continue within his military career from superiors. He also didn’t like the medical problems that Clay had. They hadn’t held him back yet, but DEVGRU was different then a typical Seal. Their operations were harder, they were more physical and with his medical problems, it could cause problems for them. Jason had to take everything into account when it came to his team and picking a new rookie. He just wasn’t sure Clay’s skills would be worth the aggravation of his medical problems and his mental ones from being abused growing up. He would have to wait and see if Clay even made it through SERE and graduated Green Team. 

XXX 

Jason was grabbing his things so he could head home finally for the day. It was almost eight o’clock at night and he was working on paperwork that needed to get in. He had been putting it off because he hated doing paperwork. He normally had the rookie on the team to do it, but without a rookie he had to do it himself. He was just about to leave the cage room when the door opened and Adam walked in. Jason was surprised to see Adam still here. Green Team had been finished for three hours now.

“What’s keeping you here?” Jason asked.

“Paperwork. You?”

“Same. What made you stop by?” Jason asked, Adam wasn’t normally coming in to just chat at this hour.

“The kid is sitting where Brian died. He’s been there for hours now. Every night after Green Team he goes there and sits for hours, sometimes all night long. I was hoping you would talk to him.” Adam said, sadly.

“Why would I talk to him? Isn’t that your job?”

It wasn’t that Jason didn’t feel for Clay, he did. At the same time though, he wasn’t one for feelings. And Clay sitting where his friend died was truly just sad and pathetic to him. He had lost a lot of friends since being in the Navy, and he never fell apart from it. Clay didn't seem to have the mental or emotional strength for this job.

“I’ve tried to talk to him. But he’s struggling right now. You know, we all come from family. Single parent, double parent, raised by grandparents, foster care, etc etc. We all have people in our lives that were there for us, whether that is blood or otherwise. Clay didn’t have that growing up. I don’t know what happened to him, I don’t know what Ash did to him, but I do know that he has no idea what family is. He didn’t grow up with people in his life to help him understand his emotions, to help guide him socially. He’s emotionally stunted, the harder emotions are hard for him to process and understand the first time they appear. He’s drowning right now with the death of Brian, who by the way was his only friend. And to make it worse, people are talking about how he sabotaged the parachute. He can’t even mourn without someone being cruel to him. I’m just asking that you speak with him. He respects you, he looks up to you. I’m hoping you will be able to get him to start to heal.”

Adam knew Jason didn’t do feelings and he had no interest in anything or anyone connected to Ash Spenser. Adam was desperate though, because Clay was truly drowning and he didn’t deserve to be. Jason could reach in and save him, he just needed to convince him. Jason let out a sigh. He just wanted to go to Ray’s and get some sleep. He did not want to go out into a field and deal with Clay and whatever emotional baggage he had. He was not the feelings guy, Ray was. It was more than that though, Jason didn’t want to like Clay. He was too young, too vulnerable and it would be too easy for him to grow to care about the kid. 

“Please Jase, as a favor to me.” Adam said, after Jason was too quiet.

“Alright, fine.” Jason finally caved.

He would stop by to talk to the kid and then get to Ray’s and just sleep. Jason made his way out to his truck. He tossed his bag into his truck and then headed out towards where Brian had died in the training field. He was just hoping he could say a few words and then be on his way. The last thing he wanted to deal with was an overly emotional person. 

XXX 

Clay sat on the ground where his best friend, his only friend, had died. The event still played in his head perfectly. He would never be able to forget watching his best friend free fall to the ground, to his death. Clay knew there was no way that he would survive the fall. Maybe if he had been able to get his backup chute open he could have survived with some broken bones. It might have been the end of his active career, but Brian would have survived working a desk. He would have adapted and figured something else out. He was a medic, he could have gone to school to become a doctor. Brian would have thrived outside of the field. Only he never got that chance to thrive. He never got that chance to make something else of his life. He never even got the chance to get his backup chute open so he could have a second chance. What made it all worse, that was supposed to be his chute. Brian had grabbed his while they were joking around. That was supposed to be his parachute. It was supposed to be him attached to it. It was supposed to be him that had died that day and not Brian. 

Clay didn’t know how to deal with this. He didn’t know how to handle the emotions surrounding him. The emotions flooding within his body. He felt guilty, so horribly guilty, because that was supposed to be his parachute. It should have been him that free fell to his death. Maybe he would have been able to get his backup chute open. Maybe he wouldn’t have died and they both could have lived. Clay knew that thinking about all of these maybes weren’t good for him. He should just accept it and move on, that is what people kept telling him. They kept looking at him like he should be over it by now. Everyone in Green Team were older than him, they had already lost friends in battle. Clay had lost teammates before, but they weren’t his friends. They were just brothers at arms. Brian was different. Brian was his friend, his best friend, the only one he had and now he was gone. He died in a training accident back home where he should have been safe. He didn’t die in a rain of bullets or in an explosion, he died jumping out of a plane and touching down on American soil. This wasn't supposed to happen and Clay had no idea how to deal with it. How to forget and move on. 

It’s why ever since he kept coming back to this very spot where Brian had died. The blood on the grass had long washed away from the rain, but Clay could still see it. He could still see his best friend’s broken and bloody body laying on the grass as they waited for a transport to take him to the morgue. It was surreal at first. Seeing Brian dead, having to go with Adam to notify his next of kin. Discovering that his childhood that he spoke about was complete bullshit. Discovering that he would be the only one to truly mourn him, to truly care about his death and live with it. He was the only family Brian had and now it was on him to remember him. It was so much weight on his shoulders that Clay didn’t know how to handle it. He didn’t know how to take the weight off and get back in the game. He knew he needed to. He only had eleven days left of Green Team and four of them would be in SERE. He had to get his mind back in the game or all of it would be for nothing, something he couldn’t allow to happen. He just didn’t know how to move forward from this. 

Clay heard the sound of tires on the grass and he looked over to the left to see a black truck. He didn’t recognize it so he didn’t pay much attention. The truck came to a stop and the driver side door opened and Clay saw the one person he never thought he would see, Jason Hayes. Jason made his way over towards him and Clay had no idea what he was doing here. Jason made his way over to Clay and didn’t even try and get through this politely.

“What the fuck are you doing Spenser?” Jason said, with nothing but annoyance in his voice.

“What?” Clay asked, confused as to why Jason would be annoyed with him. He wasn’t doing anything but sitting here.

Jason put his hands on his hips as he spoke. “You can’t do this. You can’t sit here where your friend died. You lost a friend, I get it, but now it’s time to get over it and get your head back in the game.”

Jason knew he was being hard, but sometimes you needed tough love. He wasn't going to coddle a Seal, someone that was supposed to be on his way to a Tier One operator. He didn’t handle people with kid gloves and he wasn’t about to start now. Clay looked up at Jason and Jason could see the unshed tears built up in his eyes. 

“How do I do that?” Clay asked with a broken voice.

All Jason could think was shit. Clay looked like Emma or Mickey did when they were hurt and confused and just wanted him to give them the answer to make it all magically go away. They did that a lot when they were small children. Jason always held them and told them it would be ok. Adam’s words ran through his head about Clay being socially and emotionally stunted. For the first time he could see it. He was feeling something and it seemed like he didn’t understand what he was feeling. Jason let out a soft sigh. He didn’t want to do this, and yet Clay was pulling at his heart strings. He was making the father in him push forward and his Master Chief side was giving in far too easily for his liking and comfort. Jason went and sat down next to Clay on the ground. He didn’t do kid gloves and yet here he was about to handle Clay with kid gloves. He was about to talk with him like he would with any of his children to try and help him understand what he was feeling.

“I know you don’t have a close relationship with Ash. But what about growing up? Didn’t you have other family or friends that you were close with?” Jason asked, calmly.

“No. I was sent away to Africa when I was three. I didn’t have grandparents or aunts and uncles. I just had Ash and then I was bounced around from a missionary to orphanages. I was taught how to put pressure on a wound to stop it from bleeding, how to give stitches when I was six by the nurses in the missionary. I was there until I was eight when the whole camp was killed by the rebels. I learnt quickly though that it was better to not learn anyone’s name. People and kids would disappear only to reappear mutilated and dying. Body parts would be missing, they would beg for it to end. It was just easier to not care about who they were. To not learn their names or anything about them. If they died, it wasn’t anything significant to me. Same as when I was in the orphanages. I didn’t get close, I kept to myself and tried to stay hidden. If they can’t find you, they can’t hurt you. There were no friends. Not through boot camp or buds. I kept to myself, didn’t learn anyone’s name or anything about them. I didn’t want to lose anyone. I saw the pain and destruction that tore through people when someone they loved died. I wasn’t going to do that to myself.” Clay said with a deep pain flooding his voice.

“And then Brian.” Jason simply stated. 

It was starting to make sense now. Clay wasn’t weak, he wasn’t acting this way because he couldn’t handle losing anyone. It was because he had never lost a friend before. He had never allowed himself the pleasure of having friends in his life like all kids did when they were growing up. Growing up in an active war zone had left Clay stunted in the areas most people take advantage of. He denied himself the comfort of a friend.

“I don’t know how it happened. I didn’t let anyone get close. On Team Three, I didn’t want to know anything about them. It wasn’t relevant to me. Then one day before I know it Brian is my best friend. I don’t know how he did it. I don’t know how I allowed for this to happen.”

“Some people are meant to be in your life. No matter how hard you try to keep people at arm’s length, some people are just destined to know each other. You can’t go through life without any friends, without someone on your side there for you to help you get through life. Human beings are not designed to be isolated, we need people in our lives. It’s part of what makes your life complete.”

“I’ve been alone for the majority of my life. I won’t make this mistake again. I won’t feel like this ever again. I won’t.” Clay said, as he fought the tears.

“You can’t control that kid. It hurts right now, but you have to think about all the good times you had together. How much stronger your friendship made you. It hurts to lose someone you love, but you can’t let that stop you from connecting with people again. He wouldn’t want that for you.”

“How am I supposed to know what he wants? He lied to me. He told me he had two parents and grew up in a house with a white picket fence. It was all a lie though, he grew up in the foster system. He didn’t have parents, he didn’t even have an actual home. There’s no one out there that even cares he’s gone. There’s no one out there that’s going to put flowers on his grave, no one that shows up to mourn him. It’s just me that knows him. It’s just me that will remember him. He was supposed to be my best friend, I was supposed to be his and he couldn’t even tell me the truth. What type of friend does that make me?”

“That’s not on you Clay. Brian had his own issues from growing up. To him it was probably easier to tell people he came from a loving family then to admit the truth that he grew up alone. That was on him, it’s not on you or a reflection of your friendship. You knew Brian the best, you know who he was and you know he wouldn't want this for you. He wouldn’t want you spending your nights sitting where he died. What’s holding you back? What’s keeping you here kid?” Jason asked, gently because something had to be holding Clay back that was stopping him from healing.

Jason could see the pain flashing across Clay’s face. Something had happened and it was affecting Clay a great deal. Jason wondered if it had to do with the whispers about Clay sabatoshing the parachute. He would need to set Clay straight on that, because he wasn’t going to allow Clay to blame himself for something that was completely out of his control.

“It was my chute.” Clay softly admitted.

“What?” Jason asked, confused.

“We were joking around and he just grabbed the parachute that was meant for me. He had done that for years with me. I used to have a really hard time with people touching my things, it would make me feel anxious. The guys never thought much of it in Team Three, but Brian, I guess he figured it out from his own experience growing up. He would come into my cage and just pick something up for a minute or two before he would put it back. He did it gradually until it didn't bother me anymore. He used to do it with food too. He’d sneak a fry off my plate or something. Him grabbing my parachute instead of the one that he was supposed to grab was just normal for us. That chute was supposed to be mine. It was supposed to be me wearing it and it would have been me that had the parachute trouble. It would have been me that died. He died in my place, how the hell am I supposed to live with that?” Clay asked, as a few tears escaped his eyes and with it a piece of Jason’s heart broke.

Jason couldn’t do it, he was trying to keep a wall up between them, but he just couldn’t do that right now. He pulled Clay in for a sideways hug and wrapped his arms around him as he spoke. 

“You have to let it go. That’s the only way you can start to move on from this Sunshine. You gotta stop holding it back and just let the tears go. Trust me, it’s the only way kid.”

Clay was doing everything he could to keep the tears at bay, but the second Jason wrapped his strong arms around him, he just couldn’t hold them back anymore. He didn’t know what it was about Jason, but when he touched him it didn’t make his skin crawl. He didn’t fear him, even though he should because of his size and power that he held. Clay felt safe in his arms, something that was so horribly foreign to him. He used to dream growing up about this mystery man coming into the camp or orphanage and saving him. He had made up this whole world in his mind when he was scared about having a father that would love him, play catch with him, read to him at night. Having a father there to protect him and love him. Clay had invented a whole world within his mind and whenever he needed to run and escape from what was going on around him, he would go to that world. Being held by Jason felt like that world he had created. He felt safe, like nothing could hurt him as long as Jason’s arms were wrapped around him. Clay wasn’t a crier. He always kept it in, had been since he was a child when he learnt the hard way what would happen if you showed weakness, if you showed tears. The world was a cold and cruel place and Clay had made sure he was hard and guarded so that cruelty and coldness never touched him. 

“It’s ok, just let it out.” Jason said, gently.

Jason continued to hold onto Clay as he finally let the tears out. Jason knew most of the population of men within the military didn’t like to show emotions and they hated crying. He understood it, but he also understood that sometimes the pain was too great and you just had to let it out. That was the only way you could start to heal and move forward. He had cried over Nate’s death and it had helped for him to start to heal from the loss. It still hurt, but it was bearable. Clay needed to let it out. He needed to learn how to handle the harder emotions and that was something that he could only do with people that were patient and willing to help him work through it. It would be something his team would have to do and once again Jason had no idea if there was a team in DEVGRU that would want to take Clay on. He was going to be a lot of work in a medical sense, but also now emotionally and socially. The problem was, Clay had an extreme amount of potential, if someone put the work in with him, he could be one of the greats, a legend. Jason just didn’t know if he was young enough to be able to handle someone that would be a lot of work. Ten or even five years ago he would have taken the challenge on, but now he had seen a lot, been through a lot, and he just didn’t know if he could handle the workload. Or if his team wanted to take it on either, because it wouldn't just be on him to help Clay, it would take all of them and it was going to be a very long, tiring and frustrating process. It was a bridge he was going to have to cross if Clay made it through Green Team, but it wasn’t one he needed to cross right now. 

After a good ten minutes Clay pulled back and wiped at his cheeks as he spoke. “Sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it. We all need to let it go every now and then. Release all of that pain so we can breathe and move forward, especially after losing a friend.”

“I don’t want to feel like this.”

“I know, no one does. It does get easier, the pain heals and fades. You will always miss him, but you will always carry him with you. He wouldn’t want you to be stuck in the past though, he would want you to move forward. Each life you save, is a life he saves now too. You gotta live and let him live through you. You can’t keep coming here, you have to move forward now and focus on what you need to do to graduate Green Team. You only got eleven days left and four of the hardest days you will face ahead of you soon. You need to get your head back in the game, it’s time to start living Sunshine.”

Clay gave a slow nod. He knew what Jason was saying was true. He had to get his head back in the game or he was at risk of not passing Green Team and after everything he went through he wasn’t going to allow it to be for nothing. Brain came with him to Green Team so he wouldn’t be alone, and now he was dead. He couldn’t let that be for nothing. He had to pass Green Team otherwise he would be spitting on his best friend’s grave. He needed to snap out of it and focus on what he could control and that was passing Green Team.

“I won’t let his death be for nothing.” Clay promised.

“I know you won’t. Come on, I’ll give you a ride back to base.” 

Jason stood up and Clay did as well. He looked down at where Brian had died one more time before wishing him a silent goodbye. He then made his way over to Jason’s truck and got in. Having to say goodbye to his best friend was the hardest thing he had ever done, but he also knew he needed to do it or he would never move forward in his life. If there was one thing Clay excelled at it was adapting to the environment around him. He would adapt to going through life alone again. He would adapt to not having his best friend in his life. It would take him some time, but he would get there. He was determined to not make the same mistake twice. There were only eleven days left and he was going to prove to everyone that doubted him. To everyone that said he didn’t belong here. To everyone that feels like it was his own doing that Brian was killed. To every single person that felt like he was being given special treatment by the Upper Brass. He was going to prove each and every single one of them wrong. He did belong in Green Team. He did belong in DEVGRU and he was going to show them all why he was one of the best. Why he would erase Ash Spenser’s footprints and carve out his own piece of history within DEVGRU. It was time he got back into his old ways and kept people at a distance. It would make him stronger and it was better for him that way. People didn’t really like him to begin with, they didn’t want him. Well, he didn’t need people to be strong. He didn’t need people to survive. He had forgotten that within the past five years, but he wouldn’t be forgetting it again. Clay was ready for what was to come ahead of him. He would be graduating Green Team if it was the last thing he did. 

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if there is a situation you would like for me to write regarding the team and Clay. The next story will feature Clay and SERE and how it goes wrong. 
> 
> Also, feel free to checkout my published books on Amazon under Dianne Rose for more of my stories!


	3. Becoming Bravo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Bravo gets to rescue Green Team from SERE, they never expected to find Clay in the condition that they did. When the SERE instructors take their hatred of Ash too far, will Clay survive or will Bravo arrive too late?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I said I wouldn’t be back until Feb 1st, but I suck at waiting. So I am going to focus on three stories right now, all of which have chapters saved up to be released once a week. I am still going to keep writing so my chapter bank is nice and big. The three stories that I am going to be working on are: Becoming Zulu (available on my AO3 account), Protecting what is Precious and my new story The Ghost.
> 
> Here is the third story for this collection. It will feature Clay’s SERE aftermath. Remember they are all connected so you will want to read them in order.

Once Bravo touched down they were immediately instructed to head to the SERE training house to help free their captive Seals. The guys had done this a few times, each new Green Team the Tier One teams take turns freeing them. It makes it more interesting then having an alarm going off and of all a sudden SERE is over. This adds a bit of a realistic touch to the end of SERE. The guys were also very interested in seeing how Clay turned out. Jason wasn’t going to admit it out loud, but he had been worried about Clay for the past four days. SERE was not easy and it could be hard on someone’s mind. He wasn’t sure if Clay would be able to handle it. After the death of Brian Clay had a problem dealing with it mentally and emotionally. Jason had spoken with him and he seemed to have gotten through to Clay. Only Jason had seen Clay distancing himself from the other cadets. He ate alone, he worked out alone, he didn’t go out with anyone and he barely spoke to them. He was still a team player and did what he was supposed to do, but in terms of friendships Clay was having no interest in it. Jason was worried about what that would mean on a team. Clay had said he was never going to make the mistake of letting someone get close again, but he didn’t think Clay would actually mean it. Based on what he had seen of Clay within the past week, he meant every word of it.

Jason had no idea if Clay would pull through SERE, but he had a feeling he would. He didn't get those scars on his body from being weak. SERE would probably be nothing for him and with this last test being passed, Jason would have to figure out if he was going to draft Clay to Bravo. Something he had been racking his brain over for the past few months. It wasn’t just skills that you had to think about when bringing someone new in, but personality and cons that come with it. It was even harder for Bravo this time around because they were getting someone new after losing someone so close to them, close to Jason. This would be the person that takes Nate’s place on the team in a sense. Jason had to make sure who he picked was the right person and he wasn't sure if that person was Clay. It wasn’t even his personality it was the fact that Clay would be a lot of work. Yes, a huge amount of potential, but he also came with a long list of medical allergies and conditions that would require more attention then any of them required. That would put a huge strain on Trent and the rest of them. They knew Clay had dealt with his issues his whole life, but Jason knew the guys would be concerned about him as well. They would be worried about his sugar and protein, not to mention the asthma. This wasn't a decision he could make on his own, he would have to see if the team truly did want Clay and everything that came with it. 

It wasn’t just medical reasons either, but Clay’s stunted growth socially and emotionally. It was going to take a lot of work to get him to where he was in a healthy place. There were going to be bumps in the road, some that would cause problems within the team as Clay grew. He was still only twenty-four, youngest in the Seals and in Tier One, assuming he passed, Clay would be making mistakes as he continued to grow into the man he was supposed to be. He was still learning who he was and that at times could be messy. Clay would make mistakes in and out of the field and it would be on Bravo to be there to help guide him. It was a lot of work, but at the same time if they put the work in, they would be molding one hell of an operator and a man that could potentially take over Bravo one day. 

The guys all pulled up to the SERE house and got out of their vehicles. They all loaded their guns with dummy rounds and breached the house. It didn’t take long for them to take the instructors out and got to work on freeing everyone from the cages. Jason did a quick head count and noticed there was one head missing.

“Where’s Spenser?” Jason asked, one of the instructors.

“He’s in the back room.” The guy answered, as he took the other new Tier One rookies outside.

The guys headed into the backroom expecting to see Clay tied down to a chair like they normally would be. Only when they walked into the backroom, Clay wasn’t in the chair. He wasn’t anywhere. The guys scanned the room, but all they saw was a barrel with a lid on it. Trent went over to the barrel, thinking Clay would be in it, he pulled open the lid and was instantly shocked at what he saw.

“I need help.” Trent called out, as he was reaching into the barrel.

The guys all came over to him, Brock next to him, and they looked in to see the barrel was filled with ice cold water. That wasn’t the issue though, what had Trent in a slight state of panic was seeing Clay passed out in the barrel. Brock and Trent were instantly reaching in to pull Clay out as Jason turned towards the instructors that were still in the next room.

“What the fuck are you doing? How long has he been in there?” Jason roared.

“We’re doing our job Hayes. And he hasn’t been in there that long. We would have pulled him out but your team showed up and distracted us.” The one instructor answered.

“Your jobs, look at him!” Jason yelled.

Trent and Brock had gotten Clay out of the barrel and got him down on the ground. 

“He’s not breathing.” Trent said, as he started to do chest compressions to try and get the water out of Clay’s lungs.

The guys all took in Clay’s appearance. He was not only not breathing, but he was covered in bruises, cuts, welts from a belt, and his fingernails were all pulled. That wasn’t the worst of it though, all over Clay’s stomach, and both arms were metal skewers through his skin. 

“We were just doing our job. We are within the parameters of our job description.” The second instructor said with a cocky smirk.

“In your job description? At what point in your job description does it say you can kill him?” Sonny counter, as his body shook with rage.

“Sonny, go and get the other instructors from outside and bring them in here. All of you are going to be under arrest.” Jason ordered.

Sonny headed out to grab the two instructors outside as the one instructor spoke.

“You don’t have the authority to make any arrests.”

“I don’t, but my Commander does. None of you are leaving.” Jason said, as he pulled out his cell phone to call Blackburn.

He kept his eyes on Trent as he continued to push on Clay’s chest trying to get the water up so he could breathe. They had no idea how long Clay had been under the water and not breathing, he could already be dead. Not killed overseas, but here Stateside where he should have been safe. Even worse, he died alone in a barrel to slowly drown. 

“Come on kid, breathe.” Trent said, as he pushed harder.

Ray was bent down next to Clay, holding his hand gently in his hand, Brock was bent down by Clay’s legs and when Sonny walked back in he bent down by Clay’s head. They were all there for him, they just needed him to breathe. 

“Eric, you need to come down to the SERE house and bring Harrington with you.” Jason said, never taking his eyes off of Clay’s unmoving body.

“Why, what’s going on?” Blackburn asked, confused as normally the extraction at the end of SERE was a smooth transition.

“They might have killed Clay. We found him locked in a barrel full of water. Trent is giving him CPR now, but he’s not responding.” Jason said, as he had to force his body to not shake with the rage flooding through him.

“We’ll be right there. No one leaves, not the rookies or the instructors.” Blackburn said, and Jason could hear his own rage within his voice.

“Copy.”

Jason ended the call just as Clay gave a cough and started to cough up water. 

“Roll him gently.” Trent said, as him, Ray and Brock gently rolled Clay onto his right side, being careful of the skewers sticking out of him.

Clay continued to cough up the water and Trent patted his back to help get it up.

“That’s it kid, keep coughing for me.” Trent said, soothingly.

The guys couldn’t believe how much water Clay was coughing up. He had clearly been under the water for a decent amount of time. There was no telling what complications he could have. 

“Grab my bag.” Trent said to Brock, who just gave a nod and ran out of the room.

Jason took his phone and started to take photos of Clay’s condition so they had documentation of his injuries and just what was done to him. 

“Ambulance?” Ray asked Trent.

“We’re gonna need one. He’s going to need to be taken to the hospital.” Trent answered, as he slowly moved Clay onto his back once the coughing stopped.

Ray pulled out his cell phone and called it in for an ambulance as Trent spoke to Clay.

“Clay, can you open your eyes for me as best as you can?”

Clay gave a soft moan, as he turned his head in the direction of Trent’s voice, but he didn’t open his eyes. 

“Why isn’t he waking up?” Sonny asked, concerned for Clay’s health.

“He just died Sonny, give him a minute.” Trent said, as Brock came back with his bag. Trent was instantly pulling out a blood sugar tester and gently took Clay’s right hand and pricked Clay’s index finger to get a small sample of blood before he collected it with the test strip.

“When did you get a tester?” Ray asked.

“He’s hypoglycemic, when we were told we would be the ones to rescue the new rookies I picked one up from the infirmary. Along with a glucagon pen.”

“What is it?” Jason asked.

“It’s one.” Trent said, as he quickly grabbed a glucagon pen and injected it into Clay’s thigh.

“Is it really serious?” Sonny asked, not really understanding the seriousness of Clay’s condition.

“Your body can only function properly with sugar. Without a proper amount in your system your body starts to break down. Your organs start to fail, you slip into a coma and you can die. Clay isn’t disbetic, he can control his sugar levels as long as he eats, but not eating for four days puts him at a serious risk.” Trent explained, as he went to gently open Clay’s left eye, as his right was swollen shut, to see his pupil.

“Why take the risk?” Brock said, referring to Clay going through SERE.

“Not eating for four days is hard on a normal person, everyone out there has low blood sugar right now. Clay would have been fine, exhausted and shaky, but he would have just needed to eat something to start getting his sugar back up. The stress and trauma he experienced caused his body to burn through his sugar faster, making it feel more like eight or ten days without food compared to four. I also wouldn’t be surprised if he carb loaded the past few days leading up to SERE to help have a reserve of sugar in his system.” Trent explained.

Before anymore could be said Blackburn and Harrington were walking into the room, both of them were instantly pissed at seeing Clay’s condition.

“What the hell happened here?” Harrington demanded to the four instructors.

“We were just doing our job Sir. Spenser’s undisclosed medical condition must have caused him to have complications.” An instructor said.

“You’re not going to try and blame this on him. His blood sugar didn’t pop skewers all over his body. It didn’t put bruises and welts all over him and it sure as shit didn’t lock him in a barrel filled with water to drown.” Sonny said, outraged that the instructors were trying to blame this all on Clay.

“None of this goes with what you are allowed to do with a cadet. You all tortured him. The other cadets are just bruised up, all of which are four days old, meaning you spent days with Clay in this room while the others sat in their cages forgotten. You not only comprised Clay’s SERE, but theirs as well.” Blackburn said.

“All of you are under arrest and will be investigated.” Harrington said, as he moved his hand to indicate for someone else to walk into the room.

Two officers that Harrington brought with him walked in and with a nod from Harrington put cuffs on all four instructors. Harrington and Blackburn turned to Clay as Harrington spoke.

“Sawyer, status.”

“He’s in rough shape Sir. We are waiting on the ambulance. He is now breathing, but he’s still in danger.” 

“Are you going to remove the skewers?” Blackburn asked.

“I am just about to. He’s got a concussion, not sure what grade the doc will have to do a scan.” Trent said, as he put his light pen away and turned to the skewers.

He did not want to have to remove these, but they had to come out. He couldn’t be transported in an ambulance like this. The problem was, he had no pain medication that he could give to Clay with his allergy. It wasn’t just him being allergic to morphine, but also phosphate as well. Phosphate was in everything, especially pain medication in pill form and traces of it in liquid form. 

“What do you need?” Jason asked.

“Depends if he stays out of it or not. With his allergy I can’t give him anything in my kit, so I'll have to pull them out without pain meds. Ray, keep holding his hand and Brock and Sonny, get ready in case he starts to move around. I’ll go as quick as I can.”

The guys gave a nod and were prepared just in case Clay woke up. Trent hated having to do this. He became a medic so he could help people and keep them alive, he didn’t become a medic to cause someone pain, but unfortunately it was a necessity in saving their life. This wasn’t one of those cases. In this case he was having to cause a fellow brother additional pain to undo what someone had done to him, something that never should have happened to him. The second Trent started to pull on one of the skewers that were through Clay’s right arm he groaned and his left eye opened at the pain. His breathing was wheezing and they could see he was in pain, but also confused. 

“It’s ok brother, we got you.” Ray said, as he held Clay’s hand.

Clay took a sharp breath in as Trent pulled the skewer fully out. Within minutes Trent had both arms free from the skewers, but the pain was increasing drastically. With the exception of the first groan Clay hadn’t made a single sound. Jason couldn’t help but wonder if maybe that was ingrained into Clay from his childhood. Clay started to wiggle around a bit to try and get away from the pain.

“I know it hurts, I’m sorry Spense. I have to get them out before we can move you, otherwise they could do serious damage.” Trent said, sympathetically as he started to pull the ones out from his stomach.

The ones to his stomach were deeper and Trent knew they would hurt more. There was a good chance he would need to have stitches for the holes to help close the wounds and prevent an infection setting in. Brock placed his hands on Clay’s hips to help keep him steady so Trent could focus on pulling the skewers out. 

“Squeeze my hand as much as you want Brother.” Ray said, as he ran his thumb along the back of Clay’s hand.

“We got you. Just keep breathing. Trent will have those needles out of you soon and then the medics will take you away to the hospital. Doc there will give you some nice pain meds to make you all better.” Sonny said, as he had his hands gently on Clay’s head.

Trent worked as quickly as he could to pull all of the skewers out of Clay’s body. Clay didn’t make a sound, but his body was starting to tremble and his breathing was getting worse. The guys all knew he was in pain, and yet he was refusing to make a sound. He was biting his lip hard enough to make it bleed instead of just letting it out. Jason cursed whoever it was that had done this level of damage to someone so young. Clay shouldn’t be more afraid of making a sound then what happened to him. Trent had just finished getting the skewers out of Clay, all thirty of them, when the paramedics made their way into the room. Sonny and Brock both moved back, but Ray and Trent stayed where they were. They weren’t going to get in the paramedics way, but they weren’t going to leave Clay on his own either. Trent relayed the information that he had so far as the paramedics got to work on getting Clay set up with an oxygen mask to help with his breathing. They also got him an IV going and after taking some vitals they were loading him up on the backboard and onto a stretcher. Everyone headed out as Blackburn spoke.

“Where are you taking him?”

“Military hospital is the closest.” The male paramedic answered, as they got Clay into the ambulance.

Jason started to quickly remove his gear and handed it over to Sonny as he spoke. “I’m going with you.”

“We’ll meet you there.” Ray said on the others behalf. 

Jason got into the ambulance and Brock closed the doors as the paramedic headed to the driver’s seat. Jason instantly took Clay’s right hand in his as the ambulance headed off for the hospital. His whole body was trembling from the pain and Jason was really hoping that the doctor at the hospital would be able to give him something to take it away.

“It’s ok, we’ll be there soon. Just hang on Sunshine.” Jason said, gently as he held Clay’s hand.

Jason had to tamper down his anger so Clay wouldn’t feel it. He didn’t know what had happened to Clay growing up, he could figure abuse on many different levels, but he didn’t want Clay thinking he was angry at him for an unjustified reason. Clay was clearly in a lot of pain and doing his best to hide it and be strong, something that was only upsetting Jason more. Clay shouldn’t have had to feel like he had to hide the pain. He shouldn’t have felt like he couldn’t show the level of pain that he was in. Jason swore if he ever saw Ash he was going to be putting him in the hospital. Jason continued to hold onto Clay’s hand as they made the drive to the hospital. Once they arrived Jason had no choice but to let Clay’s hand go so the paramedics could take him out and wheeled him into the ER. 

Jason followed them into the ER and into the empty triage room as a doctor and a couple of nurses came in. Jason stood back and allowed the paramedics to get Clay off the stretcher and onto the bed. The doctor spoke as the paramedics got out of the way.

“You can go and wait in the waiting room soldier.” 

“He was going through SERE, he’s a Seal and it’s Master Chief, not soldier.”

“All the same, we need room to work.” The doctor said, more interested in Clay’s injuries than Jason.

“He’s severely allergic to phosphate, sulfur, penicillin, morphine and gravol.” Jason said, ignoring the doctor’s request.

“Yes, I was briefed and it is already in his chart.” The doctor said, still not looking at Jason.

“Look at me.” Jason demanded in a harsh tone.

That caused the doctor to let out a small huff as he looked over at Jason. “He’s been tortured. He’s in an extreme amount of pain not to mention suffers from hypoglycemia. He’s been through enough, all I want to do is make sure you don’t make him worse by giving him something that could make him sick. He deserves the best and not some doc more interested in whoever else comes through that door.” 

Understanding went through the doctor’s eyes as he spoke. “Master Chief I assure you I care about all of my patients and my main priority is to get them back to healthy. I’m not taking your concerns for his allergies lightly, I am simply looking to help him as quickly as I can and the best way for me to do that is to assess him right away. I know he’s in pain and I know he’s been through something traumatic. I promise you, he has my full attention and he is getting the best care that we have.”

Jason let out a long breath. He knew the doctor was just trying to do his job and he had to let him. He gave a nod as he spoke. “My team and I will be in the waiting room.”

“If you want to help, find his next of kin or his medical proxy.” The doctor said, before he turned his attention back to Clay.

Jason gave one last look at Clay before he headed out of the room and made his way to the waiting room where he knew the others would be soon. Jason walked out and saw that the guys weren’t there yet, so he pulled out his cell phone and called Davis to have her lookup Clay’s file to find out who his next of kin was. Jason was really hoping it wasn't Ash, that was the last thing any of them needed right now. 

“Jason, how’s Clay?” Davis was instantly asking and Jason knew someone had informed her.

“He’s being looked at right now. The doc is wondering about his next of kin or medical proxy. Can you pull his file up for me?”

“Ya of course. Just give me a second.”

Jason could hear Davis typing on the line and he knew she was already at a computer and pulling up Clay’s file. After a moment she spoke.

“So his file shows that his next of kin is blank.”

“Not too surprising. What about medical proxy?”

It was imperative for everyone in the military regardless of division that you have at least a next of kin or a medical proxy. If you were in the hospital you needed to have someone that could make decisions for you if you were unable to.

“Blank also. What’s weird is his file has only been updated since he moved here for Green Team and when it was updated, there was no change other than his location. He hasn’t had a medical proxy or a next of kin since he joined the Navy. So who makes the decisions for Clay now?”

“Technically it would be his team leader or commander. But he’s not in a team right now. We’ll have to cross that bridge later. Thanks Davis.”

“Keep me posted.”

“Copy.”

Jason put his cell phone away and ran his hands over his face. He couldn’t believe this was happening right now. He was supposed to be home hanging out with his kids, instead he’s at a hospital because the SERE instructors almost killed Clay. It was the last thing he needed to be dealing with. Not to mention the last thing Clay needed. The kid already had trust issues, this was only going to make them worse. Jason looked up as he heard footsteps approaching and saw that the guys were all here.

“What do we know?” Blackburn asked.

“Nothing right now. Doc is working on him. He wanted next of kin or medical proxy here. I called Davis, kid doesn’t have either, hasn’t since he enlisted.”

“What happens if he needs one?” Sonny asked.

“He’s got no team, so technically no commanding officer. That puts it on the doctor to decide what is best for Clay.” Ray answered.

“And the doc will be more focused on Clay’s life than his career.” Trent added.

“It might not get that far. Let’s just see what the doc has for us when he is done.” Blackburn said.

“What about the instructors? What is going to happen with them?” Jason asked.

“Harrington has them for interrogations, we’ll see what comes out of it. It’s a roll of the dice. Harrington is pissed, but they are claiming they didn’t go outside of their parameters either. It’s going to be a toss up if they crossed the line or not.” Blackburn said, and they could tell he wasn’t happy about this.

“They locked him in a barrel to drown. How is that within their parameters?” Sonny said, pissed off.

“They can argue that Clay could have tapped out at any given point. They can argue his hypoglycemia put him at a higher risk and with it being undisclosed they can’t be held accountable. Clay could actually be written up for not disclosing it to the instructors, even though it is in his medical file. They can also argue that they are allowed to push harder on a cadet that is rude and aggressive. There’s no cameras in the SERE house and in the backroom it becomes Clay’s word against four instructors.” Blackburn explained.

“This is bullshit, they’re going to get away with this.” Sonny growled.

“I don’t know if they will or if they won’t. We can’t control that. Clay passed and if he is still able to be cleared for active duty he can be drafted.” Blackburn said.

There was really nothing he could do about the instructors. That was in the hands of the Upper Brass and from what he knew they didn’t like Clay all that much. They had no problem using him to push their careers even further, but they weren’t going out of their way to help him or support him. 

“Are we drafting him?” Brock asked, saying what all the guys were wondering.

Jason let out a long sigh. That is where it got complicated. He was still on the fence with Clay, there was so much involved with Clay right now he had no idea if he was willing to take it all on. At the same time though, how could he deny Clay a spot on the top Tier One team after what he just survived? 

“It’s not that simple.” Jason started.

“So we talk it out and work the problem.” Ray easily said.

“What’s the things you like about the kid?” Brock asked.

“Adam likes him, that usually means he’s a good operator.” Jason started.

“He can see the matrix according to Adam, his mind would be an asset to the team, both now and in the future.” Ray added.

“He knows a lot of fancy languages.” Sonny commented.

“Cerb likes him.” Brock said.

“He’s another sniper.” Trent brought up.

“Not just another sniper, I read his file. The kid has one of the best shots in the world. He’s made a successful shot from over thirty-nine hundred yards away at just nineteen.” Blackburn informed.

Sonny whistled at that. “Damn, Ray’s only at three thousand yards.”

“What makes him so different?” Trent asked.

“Being a sniper isn’t just about lining up the shot and firing. It’s breathing control, complex mathematics. Those that are gifted in math can make longer shots because they can do the calculations in their head with an endless number of variables all within seconds. The kid is a human calculator.” Ray explained, impressed that Clay had that good of a shot.

“File indicates that his IQ is over one-eighty. It’s why he is so valuable to the Upper Brass. To be the Admiral that got Clay into Green Team for him to become a Tier One operator, puts themselves to the front of the line for a promotion. The more assets you bring into the Navy, the more prestige you get.” Blackburn explained.

“The kid has an IQ of one-eighty, he’s not stupid he knows he’s being used.” Jason commented.

“He does, but he’s not utilizing it to his advantage. He didn’t apply for Green Team, he was told he was going to be in it. Whether he had the skills or not, he knew he had to wait until he was closer to the age requirement before he applied.” Blackburn said; he wanted to make sure they all knew that Clay wasn’t exploiting his value to get ahead himself.

“Regardless of how he got in, he still survived and is at the top of his class.” Ray said in Clay’s defence.

“Seems like there are a lot of reasons to draft him. What’s holding you back?” Sonny asked Jason.

All of the guys were interested in having Clay on the team. He had a lot of skills and potential to him, he would be an asset to them all. They couldn’t understand why Jason was holding back on it. The only reason they could think of was Ash Spenser, but it wasn’t Clay’s fault who his father was. Not only that, his father was a piece of shit who apparently was only around long enough to whip him and drop him off in a war zone.

“At first it was him being Ash Spenser’s son, then it was his cocky attitude and the arrogance he seemed to have.” Jason started, but Ray cut him off.

“You can’t hold it against him who his biological parents are. And the attitude is just a smoke screen that he created to be left alone by people. Which I can’t blame him considering how shitty people seem to treat the kid.”

“I know, I know that now.”

“Then what’s the issue?” Ray pressed.

Jason let out a sigh. He knew he had to explain this, but he was really hoping it wouldn’t make him look like an ass. “Look around Ray, look at where we are. He’s here because trained instructors did this to him. He didn’t get hurt overseas, he got hurt right here on American soil by people who should never have done it.”

“That’s not his fault.” Ray instantly argued.

“I know it’s not and I’m not saying it is. I’m saying it’s not just skills where the kid is concerned. He’s going to be a lot of work. He’s going to have enemies that could come after Bravo, after us. He’s got a lot of childhood traumas that have clearly not been dealt with. He doesn’t have any next of kin or medical proxy listed, he has no idea what the concept of family even means. And the only friend he’s ever had was Brian and he watched him free fall to his death. The kid is not only socially stunted, but also emotionally as well. And that is before you factor in his medical complications. He is going to be a lot of work. He’s going to have trust issues, he’s going to have some sort of trauma from growing up. And he is a medical nightmare. I know he has a lot of skills and a lot of potential, I just don’t know if we are the right team to put in the effort and time in fixing him.”

“I get he’s got medical problems, a lot of operators do, and yes he’s got a lot more than normal. But we can work around them. He’s been able to live with them and still do this job, a job that men fully healthy couldn’t do. It’s not something that will hold him back.” Ray argued.

“And I can work with Spenser to get a full medical history and figure out alternatives for him. He would really benefit from having a constant medic in his life.” Trent added.

“Ya that kid is gonna be work and he’s going to be a pain in all of our asses. He’s going to ask questions at the wrong time. He’s going to close himself off and make us work for his trust. It’s going to suck, but if we don’t pick him Beau gets the next pick and he will pick the kid. Do you really want to trust the kid’s welfare and career with a guy like Beau?” Sonny countered.

“He won’t train Clay, he’ll just use him to push his career further. He’ll ignore Clay’s potential and make sure Clay follows regulations to the letter. He’ll just be another asshole that uses and abuses him.” Ray added.

“How can we trust him with anyone else, Boss?” Brock asked.

“If you do want Clay, the Upper Brass would like for him being on a top Tier One team. With how valuable Clay is, I could argue that Clay and Bravo would benefit from having a team doctor that travels with you. That would help take the stress off of Trent’s shoulders to have another medical professional around to handle any injuries or complications.” Blackburn said.

“That would be nice.” Sonny commented.

“Let’s be real Jase, you’re not about to let Beau hold Clay’s life and future in his hands. If Alpha was next in line, maybe we could debate what team would be better for him, but we’re talking about Charlie team. How can we not take him on?” Ray asked.

Jason let out a sigh. He knew what the guys were saying was true. He couldn’t trust Beau to properly train and be there for Clay. Charlie team wasn’t run like a family, but more as a unit. You stayed in your lane and you don’t ever question anything. Clay had an IQ way too high for his own good, he would learn by asking questions and most Master Chiefs wouldn’t tolerate it. Jason was good with questions, it showed you’re learning. He was happy to have opinions from other team members. The only real team Clay would ever get to learn from and grow on would be Bravo. As hard and as tiring as it would be at times, there really only was one home for Clay. Jason just hoped he was still young enough to raise another kid, because Clay was going to be a lot of work.

“Alright, you guys are right. We’ll take him. Blackburn, see if you can get us a team doc, the kid is gonna need one. Trent, you start looking into what you will need to carry for him in your kit. I’ll sign whatever paperwork you need.” Jason said.

“I’ll start in the morning and see what I can find. I’ll also talk to whoever the team doc will be. With Clay being born addicted to meth, he’s twice as likely to become addicted to an opioid compared to everyone else. We’ll need to come up with something that can work stronger than Advil, but won’t put him at risk of an addiction. Plus it won’t affect his allergies.” Trent said.

“Do what you can. Make sure whatever Clay is able to take is in a different colored bag so we all know. If it’s not in that bag, he can’t get it.” Jason said, looking to keep things simple. 

Trent gave a nod as Blackburn spoke. “I’ll speak with Harrington about a team doc. Probably will take a couple of weeks for one to come in, but the kid is going to be off for a few weeks at least anyways.”

“Could be months if his concussion is bad.” Trent commented.

“I guess we just wait now.” Sonny said, as he collapsed down into a chair.

The guys all took a seat and waited until the doctor would come back out and speak with them. That moment finally came four hours later when Dr. Martin walked into the room and headed straight for the guys. The guys stood up and Jason spoke.

“How is he Doc?” 

“Did you get a hold of his next of kin or medical proxy?” Dr. Martin asked.

“He doesn’t have any listed within his military file. How is he?” Jason said, trying again.

“Without consent from either Spenser himself or a next of kin, all I am legally allowed to tell you is that he will make a full recovery.”

“Come on Doc, you gotta give us more than that. He’s on our team, he just hasn’t updated the paperwork yet.” Sonny tried, not happy with having a stonewall in front of them.

“I’m sorry, legally I am bound to doctor patient confidentiality. He will make a full recovery and be able to return to active duty. Anything else, that is on him to tell you. He will be here for a few days for observations before he can go home.”

“What room is he in?” Jason asked. There was no point in arguing with the doctor, he wasn’t going to give it up.

“He’s requested to have no visitors right now. You are all welcome to come back tomorrow during visiting hours to see him, assuming he is allowing visitors. He’ll be in room four-twelve. You can check with the nurse at the nurses’ station if he is allowing visitors.” Dr. Martin said.

“Wait, are you telling me we have been waiting for hours to see if he was ok and you’re not even gonna let us see him.” Sonny said, pissed off that they were being blocked.

“It’s not my call on who he wishes to see. He has been informed that you were most likely down here, he has requested to be left alone. As my patient I have to respect that. He is in a lot of pain, he needs rest. Now, you have been advised on what to do tomorrow, I have other patients I need to see. Have a good night gentlemen.” Dr. Martin said, before he turned and headed off. 

“Are you fucking kidding me!” Sonny roared.

“I told you he was going to be a lot of work.” Jason reminded.

Jason wasn’t expecting to be blocked by the doctor or for Clay to deny visitors, but he was in pain and had been through something. It would make sense that he would want to be alone, he had been alone his whole life practically. The concept of comfort from a friend or support was completely foreign to him. 

“So now what?” Sonny asked.

“Now we go home and come back tomorrow and sneak into his room. He’s going to be in a lot of pain right now, the best thing for him would be to leave him alone.” Ray said.

“If he’s in pain he shouldn’t be alone. Come on Ray, you saw him in that room. He didn’t make a single sound when Trent was pulling those skewers out of him.” Sonny countered.

“That’s ingrained into someone from years of abuse. He didn’t even flinch when I was stitching him back on that op. His mind has been wired to not make a sound, probably because when he did he was hurt even more from whoever his abuser was. His brain is used to handling the pain all alone and it’s going to take time to rewire it.” Trent explained.

“It’s going to take time to fix him, but we’ll get him there eventually. We will earn his trust. For now, let’s get home, we’ve been going for days. We can come back tomorrow and sneak in.” Jason said.

  
  


They had been going for days on their last operation and then this whole mess with Clay and SERE kicked off. They all needed sleep and some downtime before they would come back tomorrow during visiting hours and sneak into Clay’s room. Jason was hoping that Clay would allow them to be in there, even if it was just for a short amount of time. They needed to start building that deep level of trust with Clay and the only way they were going to be doing that would be through small windows and build up. Clay was never going to tolerate all of them invading his life in an instance, they had to work him up to it. They would though, for that Jason had no doubt. They didn’t fail operations and getting Clay into a healthy and happy place was going to be the biggest operation they have ever undertaken, but it could also be the most rewarding.

XXX 

It was just after nine in the morning when the guys of Bravo made their way up to the fourth floor. They knew what room Clay would be in so all they had to do was sneak by the nurses’ station to get to Clay’s room. They weren’t going to take the chance that Clay still didn’t want visitors and they would be turned away. They figured this way they could see Clay and if he wanted to kick them out a couple minutes later, at least they got eyes on him and Trent would be able to get them some information on his condition. It was a win/win situation, all they had to do was sneak by the nurses, something that they were all feeling very confident over. They expertly snuck around the nurses’ station while they were busy and headed straight for Clay’s room. Ray very quietly opened the door and the guys all walked in to see Clay asleep in the bed. Brock quietly closed the door as Trent walked over to the end of the bed and picked up Clay’s chart to read it real quick. Jason did a quick scan of the heart rate monitor, pulse rate monitor and oxygen monitor that was behind Clay. He knew enough to know what a good reading was and what a bad one was. Clay seemed to be in the good range so that was a relief. He also didn’t have an oxygen mask on so they weren’t worried about water in his lungs anymore. 

The guys all took notice of the serious bruising that covered Clay’s arms and face. They knew there would be more underneath the hospital gown that he was wearing. They could also see the stitches where the skewers entered and exited his arms. He looked like he was in a lot of pain if the frown lines were anything to go by. Trent placed his chart back down just as Clay’s heart rate started to go up.

“He’s waking up.” Trent said, softly.

Jason moved to the side of the bed as Clay’s eyes blinked open. For a moment Jason could see the level of pain that Clay was in before he quickly locked it down once he realised he wasn’t alone. It was like a switch had been flipped inside of him and all of the physical signs of pain had disappeared.

“What are you doing here?” Clay asked, with a raspy voice.

“Where else would we be kid? How are you feeling?” Trent asked, as he stayed at the foot of the bed.

“Fine. I thought I said no visitors.” Clay said, slightly confused as to how they even got in here.

“You think that was going to stop us from seeing our new brother? You got a lot to learn kid.” Sonny said, with a warm smile as he went over to the left side of Clay’s bed.

“We don’t leave a man behind, not even in a hospital. The doc didn’t say much, just said that you would be able to return to active duty once you were all healed up. I’m glad to hear it Bravo Six.” Jason said, using Clay’s new code name so Clay would understand that they were here as his team, as his friends and not just out of obligation because they found him,

“Bravo Six? But I thought.” Clay said, confused. Jason hated him, he made that very clear many times that he had no interest in him being on Bravo.

“I can imagine what you thought. But you have more than earned it. Besides, I can’t trust anyone else to train you right. You earned your spot in Bravo and we are all happy to have you.” Jason said, warmly.

“But only when you are physically ready to come back. Don’t be trying to push yourself to come back early. Your body needs the rest. When you are feeling a bit better and back at home, I'll come by and we can talk about what meds you can and can’t take. I’ll make sure you have whatever you need in the field.” Trent added. 

“We got so much to teach ya. First thing though, when you are feeling up for it, we gotta take a trip to the Champaign Room.” Sonny said, with a big smile.

“I don’t think he’s going to be up for a trip to the strip club anytime soon Son.” Ray said with a small shake of his head.

“Never been.” Clay simply said.

“To the Champaign Room? What the hell have you been doing in Virginia Beach this whole time?” Sonny said, amazed because every sailor went to the Champaign Room.

“No a strip club.” Clay corrected.

“Wait what?” Sonny asked, shocked and outraged at the concept of someone over the age of twenty-one and never going to a strip club.

“Oh you have no idea what you have done to yourself.” Jason said, with sympathy towards Clay. He knew there was no way in hell Sonny or Trent for that matter, would be able to allow Clay to not know what it was like to be in a strip club.

“That’s just wrong.” Trent said, just as upset as Sonny.

“Ok, first we’ll go to the Champaign Room and your whole life will be made complete. Then we can check out the other joints. Not as classy, but the ladies are just as fine.” Sonny said, already making a mental map in his head.

“Why don’t we just focus on him getting out of the hospital.” Ray said, trying to stop whatever plan was brewing in Sonny’s head. 

“Well ya, but eventually he’ll be good to go.” Trent said with a head nod to Sonny.

“I appreciate you coming by, but I prefer to be alone. I don’t really sleep around people so I would appreciate it if you left. I’ll see you at work.” Clay said, trying to figure out how to get the guys out of here.

He didn’t like being crowded when he was injured or sick. He just wanted to be left alone to suffer in silence. It had worked for him his whole life, he wasn’t about to change that now. Plus, he didn’t really sleep around people, especially not deeply. When he was on the plane he always made sure his hammock was the furthest away. On tour he would make sure he slept in random places where he would be alone. Having five guys all surrounding him in a hospital bed was never racking and he just wanted to be alone. His whole body hurt and there was nothing he could take outside of the Advil they had given him a couple of hours ago. He wanted to be alone in his own misery until the pain started to feel better.

“We’ll get out of your hair. If you need us though, call.” Jason said, as he wrote down their numbers on a pad of paper next to Clay’s hospital bed.

“Even if it’s that you need a ride or something. We’ll be here for you.” Ray added.

Clay just gave a small nod and the guys had a feeling he wouldn’t be calling them. It bothered the hell out of them, but they had no choice but to accept it right now. Clay needed time to warm up to them and for them to earn some trust with him. 

“Feel better kid.” Ray said warmly.

“Get some sleep and lots of fluids, it’ll help. If you need me, don’t hesitate to call.” Trent said.

Clay gave a small nod and the guys all said goodbye and headed out. Clay let out a soft sigh of relief at finally being alone. He was already in pain and his mind was overwhelmed with what had happened to him during SERE. He needed time to process it all and to lock it away like he had done in the past. Now he had the knowledge of being on Bravo to go with it. Clay never thought Jason would pick him. He thought he blew it on the op they ran together. And then he really thought he blew it when he had cried like a toddler in Jason’s arms, something that was still a horrifying thought to Clay. Now this happened and yet Jason still wanted him. Clay knew he was good for Bravo, for all of their careers, but he just figured Jason wouldn’t want the hassle of him and his medical problems. Clay was going to prove to them all, to Jason, that he wouldn’t be a problem. He would be an asset to their team and not a hindrance. For now, he just needed sleep to escape the pain.

XXX

The guys made their way back to the elevator as Trent spoke.

“Four broken ribs, a grade two concussion, a hundred stitches from the skewers, water was drained from his lungs, a hairline fracture to the right side of his jaw, a bruised spleen and a bruised left kidney.”

“Jesus fuck.” Sonny said, as they got onto the elevator.

“Well, at least they held back.” Ray said sarcastically.

The guys couldn’t believe how injured Clay was. The instructors had taken things way too far and Clay would be feeling their actions for weeks to come. 

“What about his sugar?” Jason asked, making a mental note to inform Blackburn of the level of damage done to Clay.

“They gave him a sugar IV, which is just sugar water, and they are monitoring it frequently with Clay not being very hungry. It was sitting at a four, just below the low end of average. Average is between five and eight. Once he is out of the hospital they will probably give him some glycogen pens until he feels well enough to be eating properly.” Trent answered.

“And you are going to make sure you have some with us in your kit?” Sonny asked.

“I will be yes, along with a tester and some sugar IV. I’ll have what he needs. His protein was also low, but he did say he had a deficiency that can be corrected with proper food. Sugar and protein is something that will be lower until he feels well enough to eat. Once Clay is home and has had a chance to recover a bit, assuming he will let me, I’ll go over and speak with him about what his diet is and what he eats. He’s on the smaller side, he’s got muscles, but if we need him to bulk up a bit he’s going to need even more protein in his system to make it happen.”

“He doesn’t need to be massive, I just need him strong enough to carry his gear up and down a mountain and to be able to handle someone twice his size in a fight.” Jason said. Not all Tier One operators were huge. Brock was roughly the same size as Clay, it wasn’t about the size but the skills you had to offer. If Clay wanted to bulk up that was his choice, but it wasn’t mandatory.

“From what Adam and Big Chief have said, Clay can handle himself in a fight.” Ray said.

“Trent, make sure you do whatever you need to for Clay and get your kit ready for him. I’ll inform Blackburn of his injuries. For now we will have to wait until Clay is ready to reach out to us. Hopefully he does, but I won’t be holding my breath just yet on that one. He needs a lot more time to trust us on any level, we’ll get there but it’ll take time.” Jason said.

“A lot of time. He doesn’t sleep around people. What the hell is that?” Sonny asked.

“Kids who were abused tend to fear sleeping in a group because you never know when someone could attack you. It’s common for people who spent time in an orphanage.” Trent explained.

“Kid can’t get a break.” Ray said, with a small shake of his head. 

“We’ll fix him right up. Starting with a trip to the strip club.” Sonny said with a big smile.

“Go easy on him. He’s never been to one. We don’t need him more traumatised than he already is.” Jason said, as they headed out of the hospital.

“Ya, ya, ya. All of his problems will disappear after one night in the Champaign Room.” Sonny argued.

The guys all gave a chuckle to that. Clay had no idea what was in store for him with being a part of Bravo. He was going to find out though once he got back to work. The guys weren’t going to disappear and they weren’t going to let him continue to suffer in silence. They would work him up to it, but he would find out just exactly what it meant to have family. He wasn’t alone anymore, even if he didn’t know it just yet. Clay was a member of Bravo and they were going to show him exactly what that meant. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am also looking for anyone that enjoys doing illustrations. I am working on putting together a website that will feature M/M art pieces, along with stories and even interactive stories. So I would love for some people to showcase their art that is M/M focused both clean and erotic. As well as anyone interested in getting credit for illustrations that will be used for the interactive stories. Please message me if you are interested in getting your art and name out there!

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, what do you think? Would you like me to continue?


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